One Word 2012: GENEROSITY

If you are curious, visit this website. 

It says: 

 One word can change everything. 

Forget New Year’s Resolutions. Scrap the long list of goals that you won’t remember three weeks from now anyway. Choose just one word. 

One word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live or what you want to achieve by the end of 2012. 

One word that you can focus on every day, all year long. 

It will take hard work, and will require intentionality and commitment. But if you let it, your word will shape you and your year. It will guide your decisions and help you grow. 

Discover the big impact one word can make. 

One word. 

365 days. 

A changed life.

When the last week of December 2011 was unfolding, I searched. Searched my heart. Looked for the voice for my Father. I needed to make sense of the toughest year of my life.

2011. Hard. Tough. Difficult. Painful.

Moving to a new city unexpectedly required so much out of me.

Not being able to say goodbye to family and close friends.

Leaving everything I owned behind.

Missed my spiritual family -- people I shared my life with intimately for years.

Awkwardly trying to build new relationships.

Yearning to fill an empty new home.

Losing two grandparents in a matter of three weeks and not being able to be with family during this time.

Juggling the demands of a full-time job, building two different ministries (middle school and high school), staying on top of running a household and managing finances that seem to keep on declining over time.

My conversations with God pretty much consisted of cries and selfish declarations of feeling forgotten.

I knew in my mind that I had to "consider it pure joy" when I faced these different trials. And yet my heart ached with pain rather than with hope.

And then one morning, as I was asking God "Why is this season so difficult?"

He spoke to my heart so loud and so clear. He lovingly responded back.

"If I made this year easy for you, then you would not have seen the depths of My faithfulness."

His voice was undeniable and my heart started leaping at the thought of how deeply faithful He truly was.

We got blessed by a car. Found an apartment in a safe location. It was once empty and yet today we have everything we need. Skype. New friends who took time to get to know me. Having that one friend I can run to in times of heartache. Craigslist. Outpouring of support (in finances, gifts, words, and prayers) to help us stay encouraged. Travel opportunities. Our marriage is the strongest it has ever been and it just keeps on getting better and sweeter.

 Barbara Mouser in 'Five Aspects of Woman' said it so beautifully:

"God is good, & life is worthwhile in spite of its pain. I am regaining the joy of giving by accepting the pain & struggle. I do all I can to alleviate my sufferings & those of others. But even when pain & death do hold sway, I am not utterly quenched or without hope. At the depths of suffering, I keep finding Christ who is there before me."

The second sentence kept on resonating in my heart.

I am regaining the joy of giving by accepting the pain & struggle.

I am certain that God is challenging me this year with this one word:

GENEROSITY

And I humbly accept the challenge.

Sowing and giving sacrificially have never been personal struggles. But I am certain that God wants me to take it to a whole new ridiculous level. 

The kind that hurts. If it is not painful, then I am not giving enough.

The kind that leaves me hanging by a thread and only God can make a way to provide.

I sincerely desire that even when resources seem to be scarce, I will give crazily.

He wants me to be generous with my money, my things, my time, my words, and my acts of service.

"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." (2 Corinthians 12:9 NASB)

Please pray for me that this verse rules over my heart every single day of this year. I cannot do it without Christ's grace and without your prayers.

Share with me today:

What is your 'one word' for 2012?

 

Day 2: Smile

This is part of an ongoing (non-consecutive) photo series called the 30-Day Gratitude Photo Challenge. 

Today I wanted a different approach to the 'smile' challenge. I wanted to do much more than simply taking a photo of myself smiling and posting it on the blog -- although it looks like that if you quickly scan this post.

I was born and raised in a country where people are emotionally involved with anyone they interact with. A stranger is never really just a stranger. There has to be some kind of really involved engagement: conversation (now matter how brief it is), sharing of food, and yes, smiling at everyone you run into -- regardless of how you feel.

Living in a new city made me realize that the level of interaction is different with every culture. For example, I see that I am living in a culture where people prefer to keep to themselves. Privacy is heavily guarded. Interactions with strangers are not the the norm.

I don't think there is anything wrong with that. It's just different from what I was used to. In fact, I am so reserved that this way of life fits my personality more.

However, I wanted today's challenge to have a personal impact. As I was enjoying my time with the Lord, He put in my heart to make a difference in people lives today by smiling directly at them. The kind of smile that is genuine, sincere and communicating that their brief presence in my life matters.

So I did it. I smiled at the lady who prepared my Greek salad, the cashier at the dollar store, the workers in our apartment building. I smiled at every person I interacted with. When I made phone calls, I wanted the joy of my smile to penetrate through the communication lines.

The result should not surprise you. Every single person I smiled at willingly smiled back. All phone calls were warm and friendly. They wanted to engage more. They wanted to serve more.

If I truly want to make a difference in this lonely world, I shall take advantage of opportunities of making genuine connections. Maybe I will never know it but I might have healed someone's rough day through the warmth of a smile.

Endurance

It's funny how you hear from God at the most random places and in the middle of the least "spiritual" activities. It happened to me last night at my Zumba class.

Photo Credit: http://jessielah.wordpress.com/

My favorite instructor was on leave. Heard about her being on the road with her touring musician husband.

Therefore, an couple of alternate Zumba instructors were doing the classes as substitutes. I personally find it difficult to adjust to new teaching styles every time I attend a class -- whether it is a fitness class or just a regular learning environment.

Last night was especially hard to adjust to. The instructor was the sweetest, nicest lady but I just could not get my rhythm on with her teaching style.

I was messing up on every routine. I am a bad dancer to begin with. While my favorite instructor had basic, high-impact, non-stop dance moves, last night's routines were a little more complicated.

Needless to say, I was struggling in keeping up with the class. Halfway through it, I was contemplating whether to leave the class or not. The indoor track at the gym looked way more appealing. And truthfully, going home, making some dinner, and watching the latest Parks and Recreation episode seemed the most appealing.

And yet I couldn't. It started becoming an issue of endurance when facing a difficult, almost unbearable situation.

I do not mean to "Jesus Juke" (after all it is just a Zumba class and I can't stand Jesus Jukes) but Romans 5:3-4 immediately came into my heart. It also happened to be my morning devotional Bible verse.

"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope ..."

I started challenging myself quietly. If I cannot endure the difficulty of the remaining 30-minute class, then how will I respond when I start training for charity runs? How about when I am faced with really unpleasant leadership while working on a project? Or even on merely having to wait for 30 more minutes until a really bad conversation is over?

I knew that my character is not the best when it comes to endurance. I cannot stand long periods of suffering. In fact, I am terrible at it. I admire people who know the difference of what situations to endure and those that are clearly just a waste of their time.

I want to be able to withstand an uncomfortable situation. I want to someday run mile after mile and feel great every step of the way. I want to be able to discern events I have to put up with and the ones I can clearly walk out on. I want to be able to patiently wait on the promises of the Lord even if it is taking years to be fulfilled.

I do not know how long it will take for me to get to that point but I wanted last night's class to be the start.

Tell me:

Describe a time when you had to endure something so unpleasant. 

What was the Lord's revelation to you?

 

Let It Go ...

Someone driving ahead of you forgot to use a turn signal.

Let it go.

A guest failed to use a coaster for his glass.

Let it go.

The husband left the toilet seat up.

Let it go.

The person ahead of you is taking forever to order her food.

Let it go.

You chose the most thoughtful gift and you never got a thank you note.

Let it go.

Someone took two parking spaces.

Let it go.

When something you have "discovered first" suddenly becomes mainstream.

Let it go.

You sent an invitation for a meal in your home and never get a reply.

Let it go.

Your name was mispronounced.

Smile. Graciously correct. Then let it go.

You want to use that little blank status bar on Facebook as your current venting ground and hopefully get that message across to the one who offended you.

Just let it go.

If you want to be a forgiver of big offenses, be a forgiver of the little ones.

I am so glad to be back. How have you been?

Why does God take us to the mountain?

I really enjoyed the message in Bethel Franklin last Sunday, May 22nd. It was the first part of a three-week series called 'Double Calls.'

'Double Calls' are about stories in the Bible where God called the names of specific people twice. Last Sunday was about how the Lord called Abraham twice as accounted in the book of Genesis 22.

Genesis 22 tells the story of when God called Abraham to the mountain. To be honest with you, when I first read and studied this chapter, the words of the Lord was very unsettling.

"Take your son, your only son -- yes, Isaac, whom you love so much -- and go the land of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will point out to you." (Genesis 22:2)

Reading this passage brought me to another Bible verse -- Galatians 3:6-7 -- saying that we are also descendants of Abraham. Suddenly, the story of Genesis 22 became more profoundly personal to me. It made me realize that as Abraham's children, we all had to go through our own personal climbs to a mountain.

Why does God take us to the mountain?

I started looking at Hebrews 11:17-19 and it says,

"By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had embraced the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, 18 even though God had said to him, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.”[a] 19 Abraham reasoned that God could even raise the dead, and so in a manner of speaking he did receive Isaac back from death."

Why does God take me to the mountain? 

Because He wants me to know certain things.  

Things that I believe to be true but only through a climb I will know to be true.

I believe His love for me is far deeper than I have ever imagined. 

Through a climb, I know that this is true.

I believe His grace is far wider that I can ever comprehend. 

Through a climb, I know that this is true.

I believe His power is the only source in overcoming any obstacles.

Through a climb, I know that this is true.

He calls me to the mountain so I will know what I would not know otherwise.

Performance-Driven or Grace-Motivated?

The world we live in today presents a culture that success is based on performance. If we work hard enough, we will get results that we deserve.

I believe in working hard. I love finding ways to be better in the way that I do my job.

What deeply concerns me is that how this mentality can easily translate into how I relate with my Father. This concern has made me vigilant on how my relationship with God is shaped every day.

Performance-Driven Morality Police

versus

Grace-Motivated Christ Follower

1) Are you a slave to what you feel others expect of you?

2) Do you feel the need to make yourself available to every social/work demand that goes your way?

3) Do you compare your spiritual walk with others?

4) Do you exhaust yourself trying to keep up with every church-related activity that is presented to you? 

5) When you do keep up, does it make you proud of yourself and actually believe that God is more pleased with you?

6) Do you judge others who don't measure up to your standards?

7) Are you disappointed with people who approach life much differently than yours?

8) Is your identity defined on how much you are accomplishing for God?

I wholeheartedly believe in God's Word when He says that salvation is by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. However, I understand the reality that we are not immune to getting caught up in focusing on our external spiritual appearance.

My daily prayer is that I will never believe the lie that God’s blessing depended on how well I do certain spiritual disciplines, such as having a daily quiet time and not knowingly committing any sin.

I want my heart to remain pure, that when I do things that honor Him, it is motivated out of deep love for Christ and what He has done for me.

Let's discuss:

Do you find yourself identifying with the questions raised?

Do you catch yourself stepping out of a grace-based relationship with God?

Why I Do Not Commit To Weekly Meetings

I am currently in a season where I wear many hats.

Okay, come to think of it -- I always wear many hats!

I am God's daughter. I am Robert's wife. I have a full-time telecommuting job managing online content. I help my husband in his ministry to high school students in Franklin, TN. I do my best to maintain healthy, active, loving relationships with my family and my best friends. I am trying to make new ones because I am new to this city. I have a heart to mentor high school and college girls in their relationship with Jesus.

When I lived in Manila, I pretty much took on similar roles, if not more.

I don't know about you, but seven days in a week is not a lot. And in my opinion, it can be taxing if I am not intentional about determining my priorities, managing my time, and carefully assessing my commitments.

At the beginning of 2009, I expressed to God my concern on how hectic my schedule felt. It seems like weekly meetings took up most of my time. I could hardly sit back and truly bask in what was most important to me.

This conversation allowed me to hear one important word that my Father was telling me.

SIMPLIFY.

Consequently, this word became the word that defined my 2009 ... and beyond.

First I had to decide which roles I am committed to acting upon daily (in its proper order).

1) I am God's daughter.
2) I am Robert's wife.
3) I am a full-time, work-from-home online content manager.

Just these three roles alone can consume most of my 16 waking hours every single day. I am sure a lot of women can resonate with this.

Therefore, I needed to be more selective on what I commit to on a weekly basis. After a lot of thought and prayer, I knew in my heart that I can only commit to meetings that fully feed my three primary life roles.

1) Worship service -- every Sunday, 10am
2) Youth service -- every Sunday, 6pm
3) Dates with my husband -- we try to change up the day every week but we are intentional about setting aside time for this.

Discipleship groups, social events, and other kinds of meetings are left to attend to every two weeks or once a month. And sometimes, if it can be managed without physical meetings, once every quarter.

It has been two years since I have applied this personal principle and I am the first to "rave" to you that it has done wonders to the quality of my life.

First, I am able to fully focus on the responsibilities that my priorities entail: God, my husband, my home and my job. Second, the more infrequent (but consistent) meetings with people have become more meaningful because there are lot more important things to catch up on.

I am not saying you should replicate my choices on how I approach commitments. But I do encourage you to take some time out of your busy week and discern what your priorities are and what should take up most of your time. It might be the most liberating time-management decision you will ever make.

When You Feel Other Women Overlook You

Have you ever been in a situation/place/community where you are filled with desire to offer these: 

your talents, 

your skills, 

your wisdom 

your life lessons

and most of all, 

your heart 

And yet feel ignored, overlooked, underestimated?

That feeling where you just feel invisible and not worth getting to know?

Christian Women Online

I have come across a lot of women in throughout the years who have so much love to give.

They genuinely want to share whatever they have to other women.

They want to use their God-given gifts to make the world around them a better place.

They would do anything to have an opportunity to make a difference in just one other woman's life.

They are grateful for all the talents God has given her with and cannot wait to find a place to glorify God with these.


And most of the time, they are just waiting to be asked.

In the perfect world, everyone is stepping up and just doing it.

Sometimes it's really not that easy.

Even in the spirit of availability, no one is taking up on the offer.

Or worse, they do get a chance to try and they just end up feeling completely out of place.


I have spent my entire Sunday afternoon in a conversation with God; trying to process what seems to be a common cause of heartache among women and their relationships with each other.

My own burden is deeply rooted in my early years more than anything else. I was never the favored one in the family. In elementary school, I still clearly remember instances of being 'shut out' by girls I considered best friends. In high school, you had to get 'asked' by people in my class if you are good enough to meet with the rest of the crew in a place called 'the white house.' In college, there was a university-wide culture where you had to prove yourself (by doing a lot of stupid things in my opinion) worthy enough to be a part of an 'exclusive' club.

(Disclaimer: These facts don't make me bitter today. I have embraced my past with a lot of acceptance which makes me understand why I am who I am in the present. Believe it or not, I am grateful on how God used these experiences to shape the woman that I have become.)


A collective observation of knowing many women for decades has given me a grieving heart to ask my Father how He feels about this. Sadly, we all still experience this even in adult life.

I can openly admit that I have been both the overlooker and the overlooked. Female friendships are so delicate; a lot of times difficult to navigate. I am still a student -- and not a very smart one most of the time.

But I do want to be better at this. I do want to be a reflection of Jesus' unconditional love and gentleness even in the midst of the 'politics' of female relationships.


Wait for it in an upcoming blog post:
What to do when you feel others overlook you.


But I do want to hear from you first! What is your take on this matter:
Have you ever felt overlooked -- at home, in school, the workplace, church and in social communities?
Even in the midst of being overlooked, do you respond with a gracious heart?
Do you think the church is better at not taking someone for granted? Or is it just more 'fake' in doing it?
Have you every been the overlooker? Was there an attempt to justify it?
What do you think Jesus would do in both situations?

Navigating Through Unfamiliar Waters

Have you ever been in a place where the life -- the ONLY kind of life -- you have ever known suddenly just ended? Today, that is the very place I am in.

Photo Credit: http://forevernevernalways1.blogspot.com/

Manila, Philippines. Born there. Grew up there. Studied there. Gave my life to Jesus there. Met and married my husband there. Family and best friends STILL living there.

And then suddenly, the 30+ years of doing life, connections, relationships, and speaking the language connected to my home is gone. At least for the time being.

My husband and I relocated to Nashville, Tennessee exactly 12 days ago. We were temporarily living in Omaha, Nebraska (with Robert's parents) to raise support for our 2-year missions work assignment in Manila.

As we were wrapping up this fundraising/equipping season of our lives and getting ready go back home, God had something else in mind. He made it clear to both of us that Robert has a new (and very unlikely) missions field: the high school kids of Franklin, TN.

There is something so beautiful about experiencing hope and excitement when you get that clarity from God. As we settled in this new city, our Father has been so sweet in letting me and Robert know, "Thank you for trusting Me." He surely didn't have to -- but because of who He is, He did!

Everyone has been so generous, sweet and thoughtful to us. All the kindness that we have been experiencing is inspiring us to do the same for others.

In the midst of this unquenchable enthusiasm, I am also boldly confessing to you: 

I am terrified.

As I navigate my way through these unfamiliar waters, I find myself asking these questions:

Will I ever feel at home in a place that is nothing like the city I'm from?

Will people see past my ethnicity and see that I can potentially be, above all else, a spiritual sister?

Will I ever be mentored (in the most sincere, non-obligatory way) by someone who has gone on this journey with Christ far longer than I have?

Will high school girls ever trust me, knowing that my high school experience is way different than their existing one?

Why is everyone so skinny?

Yes, these questions have gone through my mind as my world turned upside down. I hope you don't misunderstand me. I love Nashville. In fact, when we were praying about it, I was thrilled immediately. It took some time for Robert to get to that point.

What I am trying to point out is something we all go through when we desire to follow Jesus every day of our lives. It is hard to trust God. It is especially hard to trust Him when He calls us to take a leap of faith and do something crazy.

I do not know what lies ahead but I do know this: He will not let me down. Countering my silly questions with a new level of faith is the best part of this journey. I want nothing more than to trust Him with all my heart and lean not on my own (very ignorant) understanding (Proverbs 3:5).

Now that the confession is done and over with, I have to excuse myself because I have some growing up to do!

Do tell:

What do you need to entrust to God today?

Identifying Emotions in Marriage

One my most cherished times in this season of exploring, discovering and learning is being a part of a "journey group" for married couples. Robert and I have always wanted study God's Word with other like-minded people who acknowledge God's standards for marriage. We are really grateful that we got the chance to complete a series called "Staying in Love" by Andy Stanley for the fall semester.

Today, I want to share with you the biggest lesson that I learned from this Bible study series.

Don't you think it is interesting that no couple wants to fight and yet we have not met anyone who has completely avoided it? And it seems like the failure to communicate and address these disagreements leads to another fight, and then another fight, and then another fight ...

And the next thing you know, a married couple who used to be head over heels in love are now growing apart and has completely given up on any kind of resolution.

Unintentional or not, we all bring emotional baggage from relational hurts in our pasts. It is only inevitable that our spouses will say or do something that will trigger an unpleasant emotion that will consequently generate anger in our hearts.

I just love how the Bible warns me on how this is likely to happen in our marriage:

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23)

Andy Stanley's commentary on this Bible verse proves to be even more helpful:

"We need a proactive strategy for doing this. We're good at monitoring our spouses' behavior, but we're horrible at monitoring what's really happening in our own hearts."

GUILTY AS CHARGED!

I have come to the realization that when I get angry, I often blame my husband for being the source of that anger. I have since learned that my default reaction should always be a thoughtful examination of the condition of my heart.

As a married couple, both of our hearts must be anchored on God for us to be in an emotionally healthy place. If we proactively "guard our hearts," we can address disagreements with civility and a genuine determination to resolve issues so that it does not creep up again and again.

When you find yourself starting to get heated up that can possibly brew a fight, I recommend taking these steps.

1) Calm down. Have a seat. Take a couple of deep breaths.

2) Pray. Pray hard. Ask for the power of our Great Counselor, the Holy Spirit to navigate through your feelings and thoughts.

3) Identify what causes the anger. It is not enough to vent to your spouse, "I am mad" or "I am frustrated with you." It is also not healthy to express these feelings on a social network status because you need to let it all out. Or worse, you just keep it all in and let it kill you inside. It will not resolve anything. Go into specifics. Communicate these emotions. Think of words that precisely describe your feelings. Looking for sample statements?

"I am frustrated at the fact that you leave your clothes lying around. When you do that, I feel that you disrespect the work that I do to keep our home clean."

"Your lack of affection leaves me feeling undesirable. And that makes me resentful. The more I resent, the angrier I become."

"Sometimes I feel like you are too bossy and controlling with me. When you do that, it reminds me of sad memories of childhood when I watched my father do that to my mother. Remembering these days hurt me deeply."

"You do not have to question my decisions all the time. I feel belittled. I wish you can trust me more and know that my reasons are always of good intentions."

"It makes me mad when I see you spend almost all of your time caring for our children. I think you are a wonderful mother but I cannot help but feel neglected."

"I feel really judged when your parents are around. Their actions make me feel like a terrible wife/husband. I wish you would stand up for me more and honor me in their presence."

"When we spend time with these group of people, I feel so left out. I would love it if you were more intentional about filling me in some of the details so that I feel a little more included."

"I need help. I need some form of assistance. I thought I could do it all but I am too prideful to admit it. I don't want to keep on pretending because it just puts anger and frustration in my heart."

Do these statements sound familiar? I am sure most of us have felt this one way or another. However, we overlook the desire to be deliberate about identifying the source of the anger.

The more specific we get in identifying our emotions, the better we communicate our feelings to our spouse.


If you find yourself needing to communicate something to your spouse:
"Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ." (Ephesians 4:15)

If you find yourself on the receiving end of something that is being expressed to you:
"Christ uses critics to guard our souls from self-destructive tendencies. We gain ears to listen to others when we gain ears to listen to Him. Critics, like governing authorities, are servants of God to you for good." (Romans 13:4)

Let us challenge ourselves with this concluding statement from Andy Stanley:

What's inside of you is coming out. And it's not coming out because of who you are with, but because it was in you to begin with. If you want to stay in love, you have to pay attention to what is in there, so that you can own it. You have to have a plan to guard your heart--a plan that begins with thinking about and identifying specific emotions and then communicating them. Will you commit to this plan?

Do you want to know more?

Watch this video.

You Love Him But He's Married

The death of Elizabeth Edwards last week gripped my heart in a way that I cannot even begin to explain. In the midst of a war with cancer, she battled an even more difficult war in the last few years of her life: a marriage that was permanently crippled by her husband's infidelity.

I am blessed to be married to a man who takes God's high standards of marriage seriously. This is a significant responsibility that should never be taken for granted by any husband.

His heart breaks for men who foolishly decide to leave their wives for another woman, thinking that this will fulfill an emptiness in their hearts that truly only God can fill.

I, on the other hand, clearly feel for wives who has experienced severe rejection from their husbands. I know a lot of you agree when I say that nothing can make a woman feel uglier and more insecure.

However, my heart grieves most for all the women out there finding themselves entangled with a married man. It is a choice no woman should ever have to make because it's life that literally walks away from the will of God.

If you can identify yourself as this woman, I have some thoughts that I would like to share with you.

1) Perhaps the most common reason that everyone uses for getting involved extra-marital affairs is that the husband has been sexually and emotionally suffering in his marriage for a long time. "They have been having serious problems before I even came along," you say to yourself.  Therefore, you cannot possibly be responsible for a marriage that falls apart.

My friend, while it is true that the marriage has probably been going through a lot of problems before you came along, you are taking away that crucial opportunity for the husband and wife to have no choice but to cling to God so that He may perform miracles on their marriage. It is never your job nor your place to be the source of the solution.

2) When a man is having problems with his marriage, he has two choices:

(a) walk away because he feels he has done everything according to his own strength and it's time to give up

or

(b) recognize he cannot do it on his own and humbly recognizes he needs God during this time.

Is the man who would rather take the first option really that much more attractive?

3) You are loved and created beautiful in eyes of your heavenly Father. You probably do not believe that right now.

You probably think that man will give you the best love you can ever have. It probably boosts your self-confidence that a man would prefer you over his wife.

It aches so much in me to even think that you believe that. Your God loves you and wants a relationship with you. Part of His plans for you is to give you a single, honorable man who has no eyes for anyone else except you.

Jesus wants to give you the marriage of your dreams. A marriage that involves you, the man He created for you, and Him.

Choosing to be with a married man is literally telling God: "I do not believe that You have someone for me. I do not trust You in this area. I would rather have faith in what this man is offering me than what You are willing to give to me."


My friend, I do not wish to place condemnation in your heart. You are not an awful person. What's awful are the lies that you choose to believe because you have given your heart to a man who does not know what 'honor' really means. And I do not even blame you for believing him.

But I promise you this: there is freedom in walking away from these lies and start moving into a place of truth. I cannot even begin to tell you how beautiful life is when you start allowing Jesus Christ to fill everything that your heart needs.

Please talk to someone today. There is a way out. And that path is the best first step to freedom you will ever make.

Profound Simplicity

"We simplify, not just to be less busy, even though we may be right to pursue that. Rather, we simplify to remove distractions from our pursuit of Christ. We prune activities from our lives, not only to get organized, but also that our devotion to Christ and service for His kingdom will be more fruitful. We simplify, not merely to save time, but to eliminate hindrances to the time we devote to knowing Christ. All the reasons we simplify should eventually lead us to Christ."

A beautiful quote by Donald S. Whitney

What do you need to prune from your life for the sake of relentless pursuit of Jesus?

Enjoy the Harvest/Halloween Weekend!

The highlight of the fall season is the celebration of Halloween. I never really knew what this holiday meant because I grew up in a country where there was a lot more emphasis on November 1st, called All Saints Day -- a time to honor loved ones who have passed away.

Today, living in a country where Halloween is the most profitable holiday of all time, I finally discovered the Celtic roots of this day and how it does not have any profound significance of the story of Jesus Christ. More than that, a lot of the activities associated with it are not exactly aligned what our faith stands for.

Here are a couple of Bible verses that give everyone understandable reasons to question the nature this holiday:

"We are commanded not to become involved with the unfruitful works of darkness." (Ephesians 5:11)

The apostle Paul tells us: "But I say, that the things which the Gentiles sacrifice, they sacrifice to devils, and not to God: and I would not that ye should have fellowship with devils" (1 Corinthians 10:20).

Now the question is, what are we going to do this weekend?

(Disclaimer: Our decision was based on prayer, study of the Word, what we felt God said to us, and several discussions. We do not, by any means, claim to be all-knowing and your conviction might be totally different from ours and we totally respect that.)

• We will not "celebrate" what Halloween stands for but we will definitely not ignore that it exists.
• We choose to see this as an opportunity to be "the light that will rise like dawn out of darkness (Isaiah 58:8)" 
• We will pick out pumpkins and make designs. I choose a Bible-based design like Noah's Ark.
• We will dress up and love on each child who knocks on our door and asks for candy.
• We will visit our church's alternative Harvest Party and see more cute kids in costumes!

Are we going to allow our future children participate in trick-or-treat? The most truthful answer I have right now is "I don't know." But I am sure that I will go through the same process with my husband like we always do when making big decisions: pray, read the Bible, be still as we try to hear from God, and seek counsel. We will also see to it that our children will be lovingly educated about "principalities, powers, rulers of the darkness of this age and spiritual hosts of wickedness (Ephesians 6:12)."

One of the best things about perpetually reading on the life of Jesus is how he remains kind, gracious, honest, and loving even in the most saddening situations. I cannot speak for Him, but my heart melts at the thought of Him walking alive today loving on every child even in the midst of an un-Godly holiday. I just want to be like Him!

I really hope all of you have a beautiful Harvest/Halloween weekend, regardless of what you choose to do. Ultimately, this kind of dialog is between you and God. I encourage you to have that conversation with Him!

I also hope that we all remain respectful of each other. I have, sadly, encountered a lot of self-righteous conduct in terms of this discussion. We can be theologically correct but if it is expressed as if we are more morally superior than others, it defeats the very purpose of being like Christ. I really pray that this is a weekend that we are deliberate in showing a victorious, redeemed, grace-filled life!

Comment! Like! Follow! Reply!

Yes, all of those things are opportunities to encourage! I am about to think out loud on this blog post. Thoughts crossed my mind just right now that I feel needs to be shared and I hope that I can get your thoughts on it.

I just logged in to my Facebook account and carefully scanned through my "Top News" list. By looking through it, I found out that:

• It's my friend's son's birthday
• One of my best friends know a former co-worker from way back
• A couple we know is celebrating their anniversary
• A friend's daughter won a tennis match
• A girlfriend is desperate for her infant to take a nap because she needs it too
• A newly-married couple we know is about to purchase their first car

As I got done scanning and ready to click the "X" button and go on about my business, a gentle realization hit me. As content as I was in knowing what my friends are up to, I could have done the following:

• Said a "happy birthday" to my friend's son
• Let me best friend and former co-worker that I am thrilled at how small this world is
• Congratulated the couple on their anniversary
• Cheered on my friend's daughter's tennis win
• Tell my friend that she is doing a great job at motherhood
• Told our newlywed friends how happy I am about their new car

While all these feelings are true and genuine, it just suddenly bothered me how many times I felt these things and never communicated it to the very people who will actually feel encouraged hearing it. This triggered to ask myself this hard question:

"How many opportunities to encourage someone did I allow to pass?"

The sad part about it is that it only takes a couple of minutes of my time to send a comment, to click "Like", or  type a reply that expresses my joy on these updates. How many blog entries have I read without even bothering to comment how blessed I am by it? Have I become content seeing my timeline on Twitter without even engaging to the people who connect there?

The truth is, we use different forms of social media to let the world know that what we have to say matters. We want someone to validate our thoughts. We desire to make a difference.

Someone told me that there are two kinds of people in this world and you will know it when that person enters the room. He will either say "Here I am!" or "There you are!" When we look at our life online -- are we the former or the latter?

As much as I would like to think that what I have to say will make a difference, wouldn't the way I respond to someone's statement (and making a habit out of it) create a bigger impact?

Just my thoughts! What do you think?

Update: Damaged Luggage and Contents + Lessons Learned

To those who read an old blog entry called "Damaged Luggage and Contents" -- you will see that one (1) piece of my suitcase and some of its contents got severely damaged on our Delta Airlines flight from Omaha to Manila. If you are curious on what took place, please read that old entry by clicking on this link.

For all travelers out there, an account on how this incident was resolved might help you. I sincerely hope it never happens to any of you but in the event that it does, I hope I can point you in the right direction.

Here is a copy of the e-mail that we sent to Delta Airlines the day.

from: Robert Johnson
to: mnlll@delta.com
date: Sun, Jul 18, 2010 at 7:54 PM
subject: Damage Claim Form - Robert and Samantha Johnson

To whom it may concern:

We are Robert and Samantha Johnson. We flew Delta with the following flight information.

DL 2909 OMA MSP 17 Jul 01:00PM
DL 0619 MSP NRT 17 Jul 03:10PM
DL 0173 NRT MNL 18 Jul 06:40PM

We are filing a Damage Claim Form based on the condition of 1 piece of luggage that we claimed as we arrived in Manila last night. It was severely damaged and many of its contents were destroyed as well. Attached are the scanned copy of the filled out forms.

Here is the list of damaged property with description and cost.

1) T-shirt, yellow, M, Old Navy, XL, cotton, $10
2) Panties, assorted colors, F, Hanes, 5, cotton, $14
3) Sundress, red, F, Old Navy, M, cotton, $20
4) Pants, black, F, Warehouse, 14, cotton, $45
5) Jeans, blue, F, Zara TRF, 6, denim, $50
6) Sneakers, grey, F, Converse, 5, rubber / canvas, $70
7) Luggage, blue, unisex, Delsey, EverLast rip stop poly, $220

TOTAL COST OF DAMAGES: $429

We took photographs of all damaged items and all forms of identification that were attached to the damaged piece of luggage. All photos can be found on this link:

http://picasaweb.google.com/robjonfire/DamagedLuggageAndContents#


We hope that you find all documents and pictures sufficient to support our claim. We are in complete faith that the damages that were sustained while in your care will be properly reimbursed at the soonest possible time.

If you have any questions, please feel free to e-mail us at robjonfire@gmail.com or you may call us on the following numbers:

Manila: +63920-XXX-XXXX
US: (402) XXX-XXXX

Looking forward to your attention to this matter.


Sincerely,
Robert and Samantha Johnson




We received a telephone call the very next day by Delta Airlines' Manila office. They confirmed that they received my e-mail and that they will forward it to Delta's Atlanta headquarters for processing. 


44 days later, we finally received an e-mail from Delta Air Lines Baggage Claims. Here is what was written.


from: Delta Air Lines
to: xxx@gmail.com
date: Wed, Sep 1, 2010 at 12:06 PM
subject: File Reference: J889742 (KMM3227811V60718L0KM)

Dear Mr. Johnson:

Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience resulting from Delta’s recent mishandling of your baggage. We look forward to working with you to resolve this matter and you can expect to receive a substantive response from our office within a maximum of 60 days.

We are working hard to improve our response time to mishandled baggage claims and apologize for the length of time it might take to settle your claim. If at all possible, please refrain from the re-submission of duplicate claim forms if we are slow in responding.

Thank you very much.

Sincerely,
Customer Care Baggage Claims
Delta Air Lines




On September 10th, we received another e-mail confirming that Delta will reimburse the damages.

from: Delta Air Lines
to: xxx@gmail.com
date: Fri, Sep 10, 2010 at 10:55 AM
subject: Delta Baggage Claim: J889742 (KMM3393724V33448L0KM)

Dear Mr. Johnson,

I was sorry to learn about your damaged luggage. We regret that you encountered any difficulties as we place constant emphasis on the careful handling of our passengers' property.

You are entitled to reimbursement for the cost of damaged suitcase and clothing, and our check for $429.00 will be mailed under separate cover.

Please accept our apologies and give us the opportunity to do a better job the next time you travel.

Sincerely,
Tressala Allen
Claims Manager
Central Baggage Service




On September 18th, the check finally came in the mail. 




Here are a few lessons that I learned from this incident.


1) If I can afford a luggage with hard casing, I will definitely invest in it. In fact, I will start saving up for it. It is better to buy something that can withstand long, international flights we have been accustomed to taking.


2) I should always be mindful of my initial reaction when I see a damaged suitcase. This is a great opportunity to react graciously and not cause any one else to "stumble." Instead, be alert and use your camera to take photos immediately and document every detail. The pictures will speak for itself.


3) God does not get glorified when we focus on who to blame. Believe it or not, the airline did not maliciously intend to destroy my belongings. Yes, it is their responsibility to ensure my things are unharmed but accidents do happen.


4) Give the person-in-charge a chance to help. Do not take away the dignity of that person trying to assist you. Approaching that person with kindness is so much better because it blesses him/her. Who wants to serve a customer who responds in anger? 


5) Patience goes a long way in waiting for that final resolution. Sure, I could have called and followed-up repeatedly during that long wait. I had every right to. I just knew that ultimately God was in-charge and the check will arrive at the most perfect time, just when we really need it. And it did! Just in time for Robert's birthday and our upcoming 2-week road trip.


6) Thank everyone who helped resolve this incident. Yes, they were doing their jobs and I am, in no way, required to thank them. But I still chose to do so. I do not like overlooking an opportunity to affirm someone on a job that was accomplished. These people probably encounter disgruntled customers all day, every day. Do not miss the chance to bless someone this way.


7) If something similar happens to you, please declare the true value of the items that were damaged. If you cannot remember how much they cost and lost the receipt, you can always look it up on the Internet and have a good idea on how much it costs. An honest declaration is simply the right thing to do.


8) Give 10% of the check away. It does something to a person's soul when he/she is in the habit on regularly giving away part of his/her income. In my case, I always part with at least 10% of whatever money comes my way. It helps build my faith and lessens any of my selfishness. For this particular check, I am giving it to the church who is nourishing me at this season of my life.




Thank you for allowing me to share a bad story with a happy ending!

Contagious Confession

There were two specific incidents in the recent past that brought me to a place of personal discomfort -- one as a Filipino and one as a follower of Jesus Christ.

First is a policeman's decision to take hostage a number of people (mostly Hong Kong nationals) on a tour bus in Manila, Philippines. It ended in violence, lost lives, and an ugly picture of media mishandling what took place.

Second is the controversial desire of a pastor from a weird little church in Gainesville, Florida to burn the Koran to mark the anniversary of the September 11 attacks. Whether he pushes through with it or not is not the point. The condition of his heart already spoke volumes.

While it is true that these acts are choices of two people and do not reflect the character of an entire nation or  a religious denomination, there is an ache in my heart that longs to apologize to the hurting world as if they were my own sins. I couldn't put my finger as to why I feel this way.

And then I read Chapter 25 of a book I recently read. Anne Jackson, in her book "Permission to Speak Freely," discusses it in a chapter called "Ezra's Confession." Let me share with you some of Anne's insights on Ezra and why it is relevant to what I am feeling.

When you look at your Bible and check the Old Testament, you will find the story of Ezra. He is a scribe whose life reflected a true love for the Lord. One day, Ezra was asked to go back to Jerusalem and lead the Jews to back to their own land.

He was the perfect candidate for the job because he loved the Word and has the ability and the heart to teach them more about it. However, as time progressed in his stay in Jerusalem, he started dealing with the problem of mixed marriages. Marrying into other tribes, at that time, was unlawful.

Anne explains Ezra's reaction in her book:

"Ezra was heartbroken that the people he was caring for has messed up. Even though he wasn't one of the people marrying outside of his tribe, the weight of the actions of his nation grieved him. He ripped his clothes and tore out some of his hair, which meant he saw himself just as guilty as everyone else."

When I read this paragraph, I thought it perfectly described the heartache I was feeling when I watched the hostage in horror and heard about the plans to burn the Koran. I do not have the heart to be critical nor angry. I started grieving and confessing the many times in the past that I have enabled (directly or indirectly) a corrupt government, irresponsible media, spiritual self-righteousness, hatred, and the worst of all: those moments where I saw the problem and didn't do anything at all. In my heart, I felt that Rolando Mendoza and Pastor Terry Jones were by-products of a society that I somehow made it comfortable for them to do what they did.

In a time like this, the immediate reaction is point the finger on who to blame. While I refuse to judge those who are angry and critical of Mendoza and Jones, I wonder if something can be truly transformed in our universe if we all made a decision to respond the way Ezra did. It is in this kind of reaction, after all, God does get glorified and the Gospel is activated. When an entire community humbly confesses and declares love instead of criticism, we start allowing our Healer to mend what was broken.

Anne highlighted Ezra's prayer of confession in Ezra 9:6-7, and has now become a part of my daily prayer.

"My God, I am too ashamed and embarrassed to lift up my face to you, my God, because our sins are so many. They are higher than our heads. Our guilt even reaches up to the sky. From the days of our ancestors until now, our guilt has been great. Because of our sins, we, our kings, and our priests have been punished by the sword and captivity. Foreign kings have taken away our things and shamed us, even as it is today."

I am desperate for healing and freedom for all of us. I long for the day we all make that decision to collectively confess the sins of our generation and finally give God's grace a fighting chance to transform the world we live in.

Things I Wish I Learned When I Was Single

Hi everyone! I never really had to ponder on this question until my dear friend, Lizette Claudio, asked me about this one day. If you are curious on what I had to say, head on over to her blog. I am grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts in a guest post. If you are a single lady, I sincerely hope that you don't make the same mistakes I did, and embrace this season with joy!

Photo Credit: boundless.org

While you're at it, I highly recommend that you visit the blog of another good friend of mine, Anna Moran. She has two insightful blog posts that tackle on the subject:

Part 1

Part 2

Love the life that you are living today! :-)

What I Learned from Cassie Bernall

Two evenings ago, I found myself in a really unfamiliar place. Pastor Corey Demmel, the youth pastor of Bellevue Christian Center (the church that we go to here in Bellevue, NE) invited Robert to share a 5-minute message at REVOLUTION -- a mid-week worship service for high-school age kids.



I was planning on dropping by for a quick minute -- to record Robert's message. After that, I had my heart set on finding a couch somewhere in the building and read a book. Needless to say, my plans didn't push through -- all for many great reasons!

First, the energy of high-schoolers were just contagious. I felt like 17 again! I couldn't help but join in the worship. And I am glad I did. There is nothing like going all out in worship of my Father!





The service's message was about leaving a legacy for Christ. I was moved by one example that was shared that evening.

Many of us remember the massacre that took place in Columbine High School in 1999. I was 23 years old back then and I was already a follower of world news and current events.



I heard about the story of Cassie Bernall, one of the victims of the shooting. I didn't know Jesus at that time so I haven't really given much thought on what took place as she died in the hands of the assailants.



That evening, I was re-introduced to her story. One of the killers (I personally don't know which one among the two), asked her if she believed in God.

She boldly responded "yes."

Moments later, she was shot dead.

This encouraged me to take a hard look at myself and see how I would respond in the exact same situation. Sure, I can proudly proclaim right now that I can do what Cassie did.

But really, when a gun is pointed to my head and be asked who I stood for, will I really boldly declare that I am willing to die for Christ? I welcomed this moment to be completely honest with myself.

(Side note: Watched a similar fictional situation in last night's Grey's Anatomy season finale. A man was on a shooting rampage in the hospital and seemed to target surgeons. With a gun to her head, he asked Dr. Miranda Bailey if she was a surgeon or a nurse. Fearing for her life and the son she will leave behind, she said "nurse.")

It is a sobering self-examination for me. It opened a conversation between me and Jesus. I asked Him (I actually begged) to give me the power of the Holy Spirit and enable me to be as faith-filled as Cassie -- at all times. I want to filled with a pure desire willingly die for Him if I am faced with that situation.

Then the conversation moved to situations more real in the present time. Do I take advantage of every opportunity to proclaim Christ every chance I get? Do I really have to wait for a life-or-death situation to let people know who stand for?

How about in the little choices that I make? Do I choose the one that glorifies my one and only God?

How about in my reactions to situations that upset me? I am pretty good at reacting graciously on the outside but how about my heart? Is grace found within me? Do I truly love from the inside in the same way my external actions do?

Today, I choose to be that person who says she loves Jesus Christ with all her heart.

Today, I choose to continue to witness and share what He has done for me.

Today, I choose not to strive to be what I am committing to be. He has paid the price and He has declared victory in all of my battles. I will allow Him to empower me. His power is made perfect in my weakness.

Romans 1:16-17 (The Message) says:


"It's news I'm most proud to proclaim, this extraordinary Message of God's powerful plan to rescue everyone who trusts him, starting with Jews and then right on to everyone else! God's way of putting people right shows up in the acts of faith, confirming what Scripture has said all along: "The person in right standing before God by trusting him really lives."