Sharing my faith and my life one day at a time.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Day 10: The Gratitude Challenge

Those who are very close to me know that I am completely and madly in love with my husband. Nothing brings more pleasure to me than serving him and making sure all his daily needs are met. When he is happy and content at all times, I am joyful.

I am not sure if this is a common feeling among married women to feel this way and this much for their husbands. The reason I am wondering is there is a struggle to this kind of situation. (If you find yourself feeling the same way, please reach out to me because it is so hard to figure these feelings out on my own)

When something or someone deliberately tries to put him down, I feel extremely over-protective of Robert and yes, sometimes angry at the source of my husband's distress.

As I mature in my faith, I am learning to handle most these situations with much more grace. I usually breathe deeply, hold my tongue, turn to prayer and cling to God desperately.

I also do not want to create a situation where people will be tentative on throwing a joke or two at him because it might generate an unpleasant reaction out of me.  Believe it or not, we still love laughing at ourselves!

However, on a few occasions, being in this situation usually gets the best of me. Yes, the enemy has something to do with it and uses it to attack me. But at the end of the day, I take full responsibility when I do not respond to anger in a loving manner.

I can recall a recent situation where I know I could have handled my husband's "bad day" a little more graciously. I unwisely went for my initial reaction: to go hard for my baby and fight for him. (Disclaimer: Robert does NOT approve this kind of reaction in any way)

As things started to make sense and realized I should have reacted with kindness and compassion, I decided to ask for forgiveness from God and from the person I hurt.

Further reading and quiet time led to me to pray for my husband and myself with these points:

1) That he may have a reputation that is untarnished

2) May people always speak highly of him

3) There would never be any reason for bad things to be said of him

4) To trust God enough that He will defend him from his enemies and those who rise up to do him harm. No need to take matters into my own hands.

5) May he never be put to shame

Today, I am thankful for the weaknesses that I couldn't control nor fix on my own strength because it makes me turn to God -- the only source of true strength. I am grateful for the opportunity to forgive and be forgiven.  To be in this situation truly puts me in a place of humility that I know I need to always have in my life.

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